Values Are Constant: Words We Use to Describe Them Vary
Remember the book: All I Really Need to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten? With two recent experiences under my belt with two different elementary schools, author Robert Fulghum’s book came to mind. The first experience was at a local IB (International Baccalaureate) school, where I had the privilege to serve as “Principal for the Day,” and the second was at my granddaughters’ school, where I sat in the audience on “Grandparents and Special Friends Day.”
Shared Values
What did I learn? The IB program’s mission – shared by all participating schools world-wide—is to develop students who are principled, open-minded, and caring. The program aims to prepare students for the world’s complexities and equip them with the skills to take responsible action. To achieve this mission, the program’s core values include excellence, collaboration, equity, integrity, efficiency, diversity, and collaboration.
Similarly, at my granddaughters’ non-IB elementary school, the musical program prepared for the audience focused on being kind, accepting, helpful and open to different students from diverse backgrounds.
The Words We Use
I am someone who focuses on how we communicate, including the words we use, and how we can thoughtfully select words that will help us return to a state of societal harmony (societal grace?). My ah-ha moment was realizing that undoubtedly, we all agree that we should be kind, accepting, helpful and open to those with different backgrounds, with the overarching goal of preparing the next generations to maneuver successfully through a dynamic and changing world. In short, don’t we all agree that we should be nice to one another, or in the words of Rodney King, “Can we all just get along?”
How Values and Words We Use Can Divide Us
If we accept the premise that the mission and values of IB schools, and the songs my granddaughters sang focused on being kind and accepting of one another, then why have “Diversity, Equity and Inclusion” (DEI) programs become a negative, akin to fighting words, to many? After all, “a rose by any other name would smell as sweet,” penned Shakespeare in Romeo and Juliet, a play that pointed out the harm a family feud can rain down on its children.
This is not to dismiss or marginalize the concerns of those who believe that DEI programs can be discriminatory against certain groups, particularly white people, by prioritizing the advancement of historically marginalized groups. DEI programs can be perceived as potentially disadvantaging individuals based on merit rather than identity and creating a sense of division within a workplace or society by focusing too heavily on identity politics.
Where Do We Go From Here?
For me, this presents the opportunity to apply a “conflict management” process by identifying what divides us, and what we have in common, and then working through the goals and applications of DEI programs – including selecting a different name – that is acceptable to all. Items to discuss: what is fairness? What is merit? How do we assess these critical elements?
If, as a society, we were to agree that by treating one another with the core values we instruct our children through IB programs and institutions like my granddaughters’ school, thus treating all fairly and equally, would that not tamp down the concerns of many? If we agree that the principle and goal is to accept one another and our differences, and by doing so apply a standard of fairness, would that not meet the challenge?
Read more about the conflict management process in “Can we all just get along, Rodney King” Courageous Communication: A Return to Civility, here, and how the words and phrases we use can be swords or shields in Consequential Communication in Turbulent Times: A Practical Guide to Leadership, here.
